Why Does it Hurt To Watch?

Why does it hurt to watch?

You see it on the screen - a story of pain, loss, or struggle - and it catches in your chest.

A tightness you can’t explain, an ache that lingers.

You’re not there, it’s not your life, so why does it feel so personal?

Because it is.

What you’re feeling is the invisible thread that ties us all together.

That pain isn’t outside of you—it’s a reflection of something you know, somewhere deep within. A reminder that even when life feels distant, we’re not as separate as we think.

The ache is proof that your heart is open, that you’re tuned in to the shared rhythm of being alive.

This is not weakness.

It’s your humanity calling you to pay attention, to care, to remember that the world’s story is your story too.

You don’t have to fix it all.

But you can let it shape you, soften you, and move you toward something better.

The hurt is there because you’re connected.

What if that’s the most beautiful thing about you?

What If You Let Yourself Hope?

If you’re like me, you’ve been taking stock of the year and beginning to dream about 2025. It’s a ritual I usually cherish—a sacred pause to reflect on the past and imagine what could be.

But this year, something felt different. As I started setting intentions, I noticed a pang of resistance. Maybe it was the weight of this year—the two hurricanes in two weeks, the growing instability of the world, or the heaviness that seems to seep into everyday life. Or maybe it was something quieter, a doubt that whispered, Why bother hoping?

And then it hit me: I was afraid to hope.

At first, I thought it was about avoiding disappointment. After all, dreaming big carries the risk of unmet expectations. But the more I sat with it, the clearer it became. This wasn’t about fear of failure—it was fear of my own vulnerability.

Hope asks us to open the tenderest parts of ourselves—the part that longs, that dares to believe in what hasn’t yet materialized. It’s an act of courage to admit that we want more, that we desire a future bigger than our current reality.

Yet hope also asks us to step into uncertainty. It invites us to loosen our grip on control and trust that life, even with all its twists, is still worth dreaming for. And that’s terrifying. The ego craves safety, even if it keeps us small, because safety feels easier than possibility.

But here’s what I’ve come to realize: when we resist hope, we’re often protecting ourselves from past pain. Maybe there was a time you dared to dream, and life let you down. Maybe disappointment left a mark so deep that part of you decided it’s better not to want too much.

And yet, hope is not weak or naive—it’s courageous. It whispers, Yes, I’ve been hurt, but I’m still willing to believe in what’s possible.

This isn’t shallow hope that clings to perfection. It’s the kind of hope that holds space for the messiness of life while still daring to imagine more. Hope doesn’t guarantee outcomes, but it transforms us in the process. It reminds us that even when life feels uncertain, the act of dreaming itself is a powerful declaration of love—for ourselves, for others, and for the world we want to create.

So, as I reflect on 2025, I’m daring to hope. Here’s what that looks like for me:

• For myself: Hope to create true offerings of my heart—new courses, a book, and a space for transformation. I want to lean into my creativity with courage, trusting the path will reveal itself as I go.

• I hope to cultivate joy, to find magic in quiet moments, and to trust that simply being present is enough.

• For the world: I hope for healing. For systems rooted in compassion. For leadership centered in love. For communities that choose connection over division.

• I hope we, as a collective, embrace change—even when it’s uncomfortable—and dream boldly of a world where possibility outweighs fear.

What about you?

• What dreams have you set aside because they felt too risky?

• What past pain might be asking for compassion, so you can make space for hope again?

• What would it feel like to hope without clinging to the outcome, trusting that the journey itself will shape you?

This year, I’m choosing to hope with my whole heart. To dream boldly, not because I need guarantees, but because the act of hoping reminds me who I am—a creator, a dreamer, and a believer in possibility.

What about you? What would it look like to hope deeply in the year ahead? ✨

the Universe is grateful For You

This Thanksgiving, what if we had a different approach to gratitude? 

Instead of just asking, What am I grateful for? - 

What if we considered, What if the universe is grateful for me?

Pause for a moment and really let that sink in.

So often, we think of gratitude as something we give—recognizing the blessings, the people, the beauty around us. But what if we opened ourselves to the idea that gratitude is a reciprocal flow? That the universe, in all its vastness, is actually grateful for us? For the unique way we show up, for the energy we bring, and for the simple fact that we exist in this world.

The universe isn’t just something happening to us. 

It’s something we’re all contributing to, moment by moment. The way you laugh, the way you show kindness, the way you simply be—the universe experiences itself through you. You don’t have to do anything spectacular for your presence to have meaning. By just being here, you are a vital part of the continuous flow of existence.

Here’s the thing - through you, the universe finds new ways to understand itself.

Your laughter isn’t just a sound—it’s the universe’s joy resonating through you.

Your kindness isn’t just a nice thing to do—it’s the universe’s love flowing through you.

Your struggles, your moments of joy, and even your quiet times of stillness are how the universe learns, heals, and grows. 

You are not just here to receive—your very existence is a gift to the world. 

By being yourself, you help the universe become more of what it is—expanding, evolving, and deepening.

This Thanksgiving, take a moment to reconnect with this truth: You are not separate from the greater whole. You are a living part of it. The universe is grateful for you, exactly as you are.

And maybe, just maybe, it’s time for you to be grateful for yourself too. Not for what you do, but for who you are—the unique expression of light that only you can be. 

The world is richer, fuller, and more complete because you’re here.

As you move through your day, let that feeling settle in your heart. You are enough. Your being matters. And the universe is grateful for you.

On Surrender

Hey friend,

I see you - the weight you’re carrying, the pressure to keep it all together, to make sure it all goes according to plan.

It’s a lot, isn’t it?

Sometimes, it feels like if you loosen your grip, everything might fall apart. Holding on feels like the only way to stay safe.

But I want you to hear this: You don’t have to keep living this way.

I know that might sound counterintuitive.

We’re taught that control equals safety, and that if we just try hard enough, we can keep everything in place. But what if the relief you’re longing for comes not from holding on, but from letting go?

Not giving up—not at all—but loosening the grip.

It’s like floating on water: when you tense up and fight the current, it pulls you under. But when you soften, when you trust the water to hold you, you start to float.

Life is like that.

When you stop trying to control every outcome, you give it space to surprise you, to meet you where you are, in ways you might not have expected—but exactly what you need.

So take a breath.

Allow yourself to feel the relief that comes from knowing you’re supported, even now.

Life is here, holding you, if you let it.

With love,
The Universe

Can Love Really Heal the World?

In a world that feels so heavy, it’s natural to question:

"Can love really heal all this?"

”If love is the answer, why doesn’t it feel like enough?”

The truth is, love is enough - it’s the most potent force we have for healing and uniting.

The real question is: Are we choosing it?

Love isn't just a feeling or a word - it's an energy.

And just like electricity, it’s always there, pulsing through the fabric of life. But it needs a circuit to flow, to be activated. When we consciously choose to plug into it, we light up.

And every time we do, we create a deeper sense of coherence—a harmony within ourselves that naturally extends to others.

This is where love’s true healing lies.

Coherence is the sweet spot when our hearts, minds, and actions align. It’s a calm clarity, a sense that everything is in sync. When we choose love and align with it, we create a powerful ripple effect that goes far beyond our own lives.

This isn’t just philosophical, science backs this up.

The HeartMath Institute found that our hearts generate an electromagnetic field. When we focus on love, gratitude, or compassion, our heart rhythms become coherent, creating positive energy that radiates outward. So when we focus on love, we're not only enhancing our own well-being, we're actually influencing those near us, harmonizing the emotional field we share.

And on a larger scale, the effect is profound.

Studies have shown that when large groups gather to meditate, measurable changes occur—violence decreases, and murder rates drop. When we come together, we create a potent field that shifts the collective energy around us. As spiritual teacher Lynda Caesara says, “Dissonance dissolves in a coherent field.” When we choose love, we become part of a greater field of healing and transformation.

So how do we tap into this power?

How do we create that inner coherence for healing in the world?

1/ Set a Loving Intention

Every day, decide the energy you want to embody. Whether it’s peace, kindness, or patience, let that intention guide you. This plants the seeds that can grow throughout the day.

2/ Let Your Intention Shape Your Actions

Living your intention means bringing it into each interaction, each choice, and each response. The more your actions align with love, the more powerful and impactful your energy becomes. When you embody love, others feel it.

3/ Pause and Breathe in Moments of Tension

In moments of stress or conflict, let yourself feel the emotion fully - let it rise and come out of you. Then, take a deep breath and come back to center.

Each time we choose love, we’re strengthening a collective field—a field that has the potential to shift the world.

The question isn’t whether love is enough—*it always is.*

The question is, will we choose it?

What will you choose today?

When Life Lands a Sucker Punch

When life lands a sucker punch, our first instinct is to react -

To shield, to defend, to look outward for someone or something to blame.

But what if, just for a moment, we chose something gentler?

What if we simply stayed?

Staying doesn’t mean surrendering to the pain as if it defines us, nor does it mean letting it consume us. Instead, it’s about allowing ourselves to fully feel what’s there - breathing into the ache, sitting with the weight, and letting it move through us without rushing to fix or change it.

It’s about grounding into the body, even when the heart feels tender.

There is wisdom in staying.

Pain, as difficult as it is, often carries hidden messages - whispers of what’s ready to heal, to grow, to transform. When we give ourselves permission to be with pain, we’re saying yes to that deeper wisdom.

We’re letting it show us where we’ve outgrown certain defenses.
Where we’re ready to release old patterns.
Where we are ready to soften.

And something beautiful happens in this spaciousness.

Here, our hearts have room to expand, to stretch, to reshape around what’s real and true. When we take action from this softened place—not from the heat of reaction—we create with clarity and love.

So, when life feels unbearable, I invite you to stay with it.

Stay with yourself just a moment longer.

Breathe into the discomfort, allow it to flow through, to loosen what it will. Let it reveal the subtle ways you’re being invited to grow. And when you finally move forward, it will be from a place of inner steadiness, from a heart that has met itself fully.

This is the essence of real strength: meeting ourselves as we are, with all that we feel, and knowing we are held in something so much greater than any single moment.

This is how we transform:

Through staying.
Through allowing.
Through becoming whole right where we are.

When the Lights Go Out, Love Lights the Way

Last night, after yet another long day without power, I went to the community center to charge my phone.

Hurricane Milton had left a trail of destruction, and weariness was setting in. Empty shelves, debris everywhere, and the endless search for gas had taken their toll.

As I waited for my phone to charge, I struck up a conversation with Donna, a new neighbor. 

One of the strange blessings of disasters is that they push us to connect.

Normally, we nod and smile, then move on with our lives. But when everything around you is falling apart, those surface-level pleasantries drop away. Instead of a perfunctory, “How are you?”, you ask with sincerity, stopping to really listen.

When Donna learned I was without power, she offered me a place to stay for the night—her cool, air-conditioned apartment a welcome reprieve for my weary body. Here was a woman I had never met before, opening her home to me.

As I thanked her, she simply said, “We’re all one, right?” 

That stopped me in my tracks.

As someone who has dedicated my life to unity consciousness, it’s one thing to talk about it and another to experience it, especially when I need the reminder the most.

This is what it means to love your neighbor as yourself. When you hurt, I hurt. When you thrive, I thrive. We are all connected. 

Love your neighbor *because* we are one. 

This is unity in action.

Donna shared that the day before, a stranger had extended a similar kindness to her—offering her a ride when gas was scarce. Now, she was paying it forward. 

Love, it turns out, is a virtuous cycle.

Love flows when we allow ourselves to receive and then offer that generosity to others. It transforms us when we let it move to us, through us, from us. Love isn’t an abstract concept; it’s an energetic force that moves through people and communities. 

When we participate in that flow, we make love tangible and oneness real.

After two hurricanes in two weeks, I can feel a shift within me.

The survival-mode stress is giving way to softness, and I sense something new blossoming. While I don’t yet have the words for it, I do know this: moments of upheaval crack open our hardened shells, and vulnerability is how the Light gets in. 

This is how transformation happens.

Soon, the debris will clear, houses will be repaired, and life will tempt us to fall back into our separate routines. But we don’t need a crisis to remind us that we belong to each other.

What would it look like to live this truth every day? 

Maybe it starts small: looking your neighbor in the eye, offering help when it’s inconvenient, letting love move through you even when you’re tired or afraid.

This is the world I am committed to creating—a world where love isn’t an emergency response, but a way of life.

Will you join me?

Casting Ballots For the World We Want

As Election Day approaches, it’s natural to feel like everything hinges on this one moment.

But every day, we cast ballots - through our words, intentions, and actions.

Each small choice contributes to the world we’re creating.

Tuesday’s vote is powerful, yes, but it’s just one of the many ways we shape our reality.

Here are some reminders to help you move through this time with calm and clarity:

1/ Remember Who You Are

Beneath all the noise, you are steady, resilient, and powerful.

No election result defines your purpose, nor can it diminish the impact you have in the world. When fear or frustration creeps in, take a moment to reconnect with the part of you that remembers this truth. You bring potent energy to this moment, and you get to choose whether it’s rooted in peace, compassion, and love.

Let go of what’s beyond your control and keep coming back to your vision.

Trust that you’re more than equipped to meet whatever comes your way.

*

2/ Be Impeccable With Your Energy

Just as you nourish your body, be mindful of what you allow into your mind and heart.

The urge to stay informed can quickly turn into endless scrolling and headline-chasing, this drains us and pulls focus from what truly matters.

Pause and breathe. Ask yourself, “Where is my energy best placed right now?”

Maybe it’s connecting with loved ones, offering support, or grounding yourself.

Channel your energy purposefully, and it will be more meaningful and effective.

*

3/ Focus on What You Want to Create

The future isn’t crafted in one moment.

It’s built on the small, consistent choices we make each day. Visualize the world you want to live in: compassionate, courageous, and connected. Then, act from this place.

Holding a vision for something greater expands what’s possible.

When you show up with this intention, your very presence becomes a beacon, lighting the way for others.

*

4/ Trust in a Greater Arc

There’s a larger arc guiding us forward, weaving our experiences into growth.

What may appear chaotic is often part of a clearing, making space for new ways to emerge. Embrace the mystery, even if you can’t see all the details. Know that as night gives way to dawn, we’re all moving toward a deeper alignment and unity.

*

Remember: True change lives in the choices we make every day.

As we hold our vision close and take small, purposeful steps, we are already co-creating the world we know is possible - together.

*

I'd love to hear from you.

What steps are you taking to align with your higher vision today?

IS It Selfish to Feel Joy In the Midst of Pain?

Is it selfish to feel joy when the world feels so heavy?

In a world filled with pain - wars, division, and natural disasters - embracing joy can feel almost wrong.

As if happiness somehow dishonors the world’s suffering.

But what if joy isn’t something to wait for until life eases up?

What if it’s a tool that helps lead us through the storm?

Here’s the thing: Joy isn’t about denial or escape.

True joy is resilient; it coexists with hardship. It reminds us that even in darkness, light is within reach. Joy doesn’t erase difficulty—it holds space for it, offering us balance, strength, and a fresh perspective just when we need it the most.

When the world’s weight feels crushing, joy whispers,

“Remember what is good, remember what is beautiful.”

It invites us to pause, breathe, and savor the small, soft moments—a warm cup of coffee, a friend’s comforting voice, a sunrise painting the sky.

These may seem small, but they’re far from trivial.

They’re fuel for the soul, reminders that life, even in its hardship, is more than just struggle.

And that’s important.

Because when we disconnect from joy, darkness thrives. Struggles feel heavier, fears seem insurmountable, and hope drifts further away.

But joy—even the smallest spark—shifts our energy.

Our vision expands, we rise above fear, and we reconnect with possibility.

This is the power of joy.

With joy, we embrace life in full—not by ignoring reality, but by seeing its wholeness, one that includes hope and resilience. And when we lead with joy, we give others permission to do the same. We become beacons, not by denying the world’s pain, but by embracing life’s complexity.

Choosing joy is an act of quiet rebellion—a way to reclaim our inner power and be open to all that lies ahead.

So don’t wait for joy to arrive after the storm.

Come and meet it now.

Let joy be the fuel that sustains you, the compass that guides you, and the reminder that even in the hardest times, life has room for softness, beauty, and light.

Why Does Life Keep Repeating the Same Lesson?

I was flipping through some old journals the other day, expecting to get a nice little pat on the back for how far I’ve come.

But instead, the same old themes jumped out at me: trust, surrender, self-worth.

And I couldn’t help but think, "Seriously? I’m still working on this?"

After all the therapy, coaching, and spiritual practice—shouldn’t I be done with this by now?

Cue the frustration.

As I sank deeper into my disappointment, a quieter voice nudged its way through and gently reminded me:

"Growth happens in spirals."

Almost every spiritual tradition references the spiral, and for good reason. It’s the ultimate symbol of evolution and transformation, a reminder that real growth isn’t linear. We move through layers—each one bringing us closer to who we truly are and something greater.

But let’s be honest, it’s not always easy to accept.

Sometimes, it feels like I’m stuck in a loop, dizzy from circling the same lessons over and over again. But what I’ve come to realize is that revisiting these themes isn’t failure—it’s an invitation to see them from a new perspective.

Here’s what I mean:

1/ Same Themes, New Depth

At first, it feels like I’m stuck—spinning in the same old patterns. But when I zoom out, I see that I’m approaching these themes as a different person each time.

Take “surrender.” Years ago, surrender was just about surviving the stress—learning to stay calm when everything was chaotic. But now? It’s something bigger. It’s about trusting life’s flow and letting go of the need to control what’s coming next.

Instead of getting frustrated with myself and thinking, "Ugh, here we go again," I’m learning to see these moments as progress. I’m seeing things from a new perspective— and I’m ready for the next layer.

2/ Growth Isn’t a Destination

For the longest time, I thought growth was like a checklist—once you learn the lesson, you’re done. But that’s not how it works. Growth unfolds, layer by layer.

Take self-worth. It used to be about separating my value from my achievements or other people’s opinions. But lately, it’s shifted. Now, it’s about standing in my truth—without apologizing for it. Growth keeps nudging us to show up in ways we couldn’t before, asking us to stretch beyond our comfort zones.

There’s no finish line. And that’s okay. Because growth isn’t about arriving—it’s about evolving.

3/ Integration in All Areas of Life

The thing about spirals is that they touch every part of us—mind, body, heart, and spirit. A lesson I thought I’d mastered can show up again, but in a whole new context.

Take surrender again. It started as emotional—letting go in relationships and situations. But lately, it’s physical. I’ve been dealing with some injuries, and surrender now means trusting my body to heal in its own time, without forcing it.

The spiral invites us to integrate what we’ve learned, across every layer of our being.

*

So if you find yourself revisiting the same themes, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re ready to go deeper.

Instead of asking, "Why am I still here?" try asking, "What new wisdom is waiting for me this time?"

The truth is, these lessons aren’t holding you back. They’re pulling you forward—towards a richer, more integrated version of yourself.

How to Stay Centered When Life Gets Intense

“How do I integrate spirituality into my everyday life? Throw out the concept of “spiritual life” and “everyday life.” There is only life, undivided and whole.” 

- Adyashanti

Hurricane Helene is speeding toward Florida, and there’s an expectant buzz in the air.

Roads are empty, sandbags are piled high, and the wind is starting to howl.

As I stood in the grocery store earlier, staring at the empty shelves, a thought hit me: This is exactly what spirituality has prepared me for.

I used to think spirituality was reserved for monks on mountaintops, something distant and removed from everyday life. But I’ve learned that it’s not about escaping to a quiet place; it’s about bringing those lessons into the thick of it, especially when life feels uncertain and chaotic.

A few years ago, I would’ve felt completely overwhelmed in a situation like this.

The news would hijack my emotions. I’d be stuck in a loop of anxiety, questioning every choice - Should I stay? Should I go? What if I make the wrong call? - and I’d probably overbuy supplies, driven more by fear than necessity.

But now, it’s different. Here's how:

1/ Inner Safety:

I no longer look outside for safety—I create it within. No matter what happens, I know I can stay grounded in the middle of it. I may not be able to control the storm, but I can control how I respond to it.

2/ Trust in Flow:

I used to agonize over making the “right” choice, scared of getting it wrong. Now, I trust that whatever decision I make—whether to stay or go—I’ll handle it. I’ll adapt, and I know I have what it takes to flow with whatever comes.

3/ Sufficiency:

Panic used to drive me to stock up on way more than I needed, like a safety net made of bottled water. Now, I take only what’s necessary, trusting that I’m supported—both by what I already have and by the Universe itself.

If you’ve been feeling like the world is speeding up, you’re not alone.

There’s a powerful energy flowing through everything right now, and it’s making life feel more intense. But here’s what I’m discovering: when life gets overwhelming, it’s a call for us to face the storm rather than get swept away by it.

Isn’t that what integration is all about?

It’s not about escaping life’s messiness; it’s about learning to stay centered and connected to our power, even when everything around us feels like it’s spinning out of control.

So, what about you?

What’s the “storm” you’re navigating right now? How are you finding your calm amidst it all?

Not Every Relationship Is Meant To Last Forever

One thing I wish I had understood sooner is that not every relationship is meant to last a lifetime. For years, I clung to relationships long after they had run their course, believing that if I just tried harder, compromised more, or persevered through the challenges, things would eventually work out. This approach left me feeling exhausted and stuck, trying to force connections that no longer served either of us.

Then I discovered the concept of soul contracts, and everything changed.

What Are Soul Contracts?

Soul contracts are like pre-life agreements that our souls make before we’re born. They outline the relationships and experiences necessary for our growth. Each person we encounter—whether a partner, friend, or colleague—plays a specific role in our spiritual journey. Understanding this can shift how we approach our relationships.

Here’s an Example:

One of my clients met her husband at a party, and they felt an immediate, deep connection, as if they had known each other for lifetimes. They married quickly and soon had a dog, a mortgage, and three kids. Over time, though, they began to bring out each other's insecurities—his fear of abandonment and her struggle with self-worth.

Despite their best efforts, they were stuck in a pattern of arguments and misunderstandings. They realized their relationship wasn’t about changing each other, but about facing their issues of self-love and self-respect. 

They realized their connection was more about personal growth than staying together forever.

Understanding this, they accepted that their relationship had fulfilled its purpose. Although they faced practical challenges—like co-parenting and dividing their finances—they were able to handle the separation with calmness and acceptance, gratitude instead of bitterness. 

This helped them move forward in a healthier way, for themselves and their family.

If you find yourself in a relationship and want to release it gracefully, here’s how:

1. Recognize the Purpose: Reflect on what this relationship taught you and how it contributed to your growth. Letting go doesn’t mean the relationship was a failure; it means the soul contract has been fulfilled.

2. Express Gratitude: Appreciate the value and lessons this relationship brought into your life. You don’t need a direct conversation; even offering thanks on a soul level can bring closure. Their Higher Self will receive it.

3. Set Energetic Boundaries: Clear their energy from your system with love, and reclaim any energy you may have unconsciously given away. Cutting energetic cords can help you move forward with clarity.

I’d love to hear from you.

How have you released relationships gracefully?

How Attachment Styles Influence Your Leadership

Could the way your parents cared for you as a baby shape your leadership style? 

It just might.

Your attachment style - the way you connect with others emotionally - can have a big impact on how you lead. 

Whether you’re always seeking validation or keeping people at a distance, these habits affect how you interact with your team. 

The good news? 

By addressing and healing these attachment styles through your personal relationships, you can enhance your leadership skills.

What Are Attachment Styles?

Attachment styles come from our early interactions with caregivers - typically our parents. These early experiences set up how we handle relationships for the rest of our lives.

• Secure Attachment: Developed when caregivers are consistently supportive and responsive. People with this style are usually confident in relationships, balancing closeness with independence.

• Anxious Attachment: Often results from inconsistent caregiving. Individuals with this style may frequently seek reassurance and experience insecurity.

• Avoidant Attachment: Arises from emotionally distant or overly self-reliant caregivers. Those with this style often prioritize independence and may struggle with forming close connections.

How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Leadership

Your attachment style influences your leadership and team interactions:

• Secure Leaders: Excel at building trust and promoting open communication. They openly discuss goals and encourage feedback, making everyone feel valued.

• Anxious Leaders: Often seek constant approval and may micromanage. This can create a controlled and stifling environment for the team.

• Avoidant Leaders: May appear detached, focusing more on tasks than relationships. This can leave the team feeling unsupported and disconnected.

How does this play out in the workplace?

Secure and avoidant leaders are often promoted more quickly, especially avoidant leaders who fit into tough, independent workplace cultures. However, avoidant leaders may struggle to provide the connection and security that employees need. Anxious leaders, while good at creating a positive team environment, may struggle with discipline and clear direction.

Healing Through Personal Relationships

Here’s the good news:

No matter how we were raised, we have the power to shape our reality. Becoming a better leader means recognizing and harnessing our ability to heal and grow. Our most valuable learning experiences often come from our primary relationships—whether with friends, family, or significant others. These relationships can help us fulfill soul contracts—pre-birth agreements to help us mutually evolve.

Here’s how to leveraging personal relationships for healing:

• Sync with Secure Individuals:

Research shows that 60% of people have a secure attachment. Spend time with these individuals and see them as mentors. Pay attention to how they interact—you can learn from their actions and naturally align with their energy. This process, known as energetic entrainment, allows your energy to sync with their positive emotional state, much like two pendulums swinging together, with the stronger one setting the rhythm

• Heal Root Causes: 

Notice your recurring thoughts and feelings about relationships. See if your partner’s actions support or challenge your sense of being loved. Consider healing these issues with practices like womb regression or inner child healing.

• Nurture Secure Frequencies: 

Reflect on your relationship patterns. Are you choosing partners who reinforce your insecurities? By consciously cultivating a sense of security within yourself and letting this frequency radiate, you’re more likely to form relationships that foster a secure attachment style.

Why Your Partner's Reactions Aren't Always About You

Ever felt blindsided by your partner’s reaction? 

Maybe you’ve been busy with chores, and when shethey comes home, shethey accuses you of being lazy. Frustrating, right?

But what’s really going on?

You might be dealing with a projection. This happens when someone unintentionally shifts their own feelings or insecurities onto you. They’re not reacting to your actions but to their own inner turmoil.

This dynamic shows up in all relationships.

By understanding the energetic underpinnings and being open to the deeper lessons, you can turn these moments into opportunities for spiritual and relational growth.

Here’s how:

1. Move into Neutrality

Scenario: Imagine you’ve been working diligently all day, and yet your partner accuses you of slacking off.

What’s Happening: 

Your partner’s reaction is likely rooted in histheir own insecurities and not really about your actions. This is about energetic avoidance. Instead of processing hertheir own emotions, shethey isare redirecting these feelings onto you.

In this case, their criticism of you is a way to avoid dealing with their own internal struggles. This makes it hard for them to see your real efforts and for both of you to address the actual problem.

What you can do: 

Before you respond, take a moment to ground yourself and find your center. Connect with your Higher Self and come into neutrality. This pause helps you respond intentionally and stay open to the deeper lesson behind the situation.

2. Create Healthy Energetic Boundaries

Scenario: The argument intensifies, and you’re starting to feel emotionally drained.

What’s Happening:

When your partner projects their emotions onto you, they can invade your energetic space and create energetic cords between you. These cords pull on your energy and keep you connected to their turmoil.

What You Can Do:

• Set Loving Boundaries: Take a moment to reset, “I understand you’re upset, but I need a moment to gather myself.” This shows you respect their feelings while honoring your energy.

• Visualize and Clear: Check your energetic field. If you’ve picked up their emotions, imagine sending that energy back to them or up to Source. If you sense any energy cords connecting you to their negativity, picture gently cutting these cords to help you stay centered.

• Reclaim Your Space: Visualize a protective bubble around you, about an arm’s length from your body. Allow yourself to take up space, your whole space, and nothing but your space.

3. Respond with Empathy and Curiosity

Scenario: After taking a moment to reset, you notice your partner’s frustration might be linked to their own stress.

What’s Happening:

By grounding into neutrality and honoring your own energetic space, you gain a clearer perspective. From here, you can respond with empathy and build an energetic bridge of understanding. You acknowledge their feelings without absorbing their emotions.

What You Can Do:

Offer support with curiosity, “I see you’re really stressed. I’m curious about what’s going on.” This helps shift the conversation from conflict to cooperation, from defensiveness to dialogue. Acknowledge their feelings while honoring your energetic integrity.

4. Embrace the Lesson

Scenario: Even when you know their projection isn't about you, their words still sting.

What’s Happening:

Relationships are powerful teachers and mirrors for our inner selves. When your partner’s reaction triggers you, it often highlights unresolved issues or insecurities within yourself. This is a valuable opportunity for both of you to heal and grow.

What You Can Do:

• Get Curious: Reflect on the projection and explore if there’s a kernel of truth to it. Ask yourself “Does this touch on a hidden belief?” If so, this may be your opportunity to heal.

• Strengthen Your Connection: Have a heartfelt conversation with your partner - “What happened? What are we learning? How can we support each other through this? What do we do if this surfaces again?” 

• Consider Boundaries: Relationships are here to teach us about love, but they shouldn't cause constant pain. If a relationship repeatedly triggers unresolved issues, it may be time to reassess. While projections offer chances for healing, it’s ok to step back from relationships that aren’t contributing to your overall well-being.

Projections can be uncomfortable, but if we stay neutral, set clear boundaries, offer empathy, and use them as chances to grow, we can use these moments for deeper connection and transformation.

How have you handled similar situations?

Hit reply and let me know.

Why do we fear letting go?

We’ve all heard it before: 

Your new life will cost you your old one.

The idea sounds simple, but many of us find it difficult to accept. 

So why do we resist?

I think it comes down to two things:

1/ We equate letting go with failure.  

2/ We see the in-between as a scary, empty void.

*

It’s no surprise we feel this way.

Society teaches us that more is better, and that holding on - whether it’s to relationships, habits, or beliefs - makes us feel secure. The idea of surrendering can feel like waving a white flag. 

And then there’s the fear of uncertainty. 

If I let go of what I know, then what? The unknown can feel like stepping into a dark, endless void, so we cling to the familiar - even when it’s clearly poisoning us.

But what if there’s another way to think about this?

What if releasing was something to *celebrate*?

And what if that “void” was actually rich soil, ready for new growth?

*

When I was a kid, my mom and I had a yearly ritual: cleaning out my closet.

We’d pull out clothes that no longer fit and put them into donation piles. Instead of feeling sad about what was leaving, I felt excited. I wasn’t losing anything - I was making room for new things that better suited who I was becoming.

The same principle applies to life. 

Over the years, I’ve had to let go of friendships, romantic partnerships, even outdated perceptions of myself. I won’t pretend it was easy - it was incredibly painful. But every time, those releases became fertilizer for what came next. 

Letting go was never the end; it was the beginning of something more aligned with my growth.

This is the mindset that changes everything. 

When we celebrate release, we acknowledge that it’s clearing space for what truly serves us. And when we see the in-between not as a void but as a creative space, we can embrace it with curiosity and trust.

Here’s how to embrace this perspective:

1/ Identify What’s Holding You Back:

Take an honest look at your life. What beliefs, habits, or relationships feel heavy or out of place? Recognizing what needs to go is the first step to real freedom.

2/ Shift from Loss to Gratitude:

Rather than focusing on what you’re letting go of, appreciate the lessons, memories, and growth it brought you. Then celebrate the new space it’s creating for your next chapter.

3/ Have Curiosity in the New:

Letting go is a journey of exploration. As you release what no longer serves you, approach the unknown with a sense of wonder. The new opportunities and relationships that come your way might not fit your previous patterns. Embrace this change as a chance to explore new ways of being.

4/ Embrace Life’s Cycles:

Life moves in rhythms of growth, change, and renewal. Just as winter gives way to spring, each ending makes way for new beginnings. Let go with confidence that knowing that new growth is not just a possibility but a certainty.

Love Binaural Beats? You’re Going to Love Solfeggio Frequencies Even More

If you've been using binaural beats to boost focus, you're in for a treat with Solfeggio frequencies.

These tones are core to my daily routine, and I can’t wait to share why they’re so special.

Solfeggio frequencies are specific tones that help balance energy and harmonize our emotional state.

Rooted in Gregorian chants and ancient Sanskrit prayers, these tones were rediscovered by physician and researcher Dr. Joseph Puleo, who brought their benefits back into the public eye. Some studies even suggest they enhance cellular health by 5-9%. People commonly use them in meditation, relaxation, and to improve focus and clarity.

I've been using them for years, and here’s why I love them:

1/ Effortless to Use:

Whether I’m on the metro or at my desk, these frequencies fit seamlessly into my day. I pop in my headphones and let the tones work their magic - no extra effort required.

2/ Cost-Effective:

With so many free resources available, enjoying these frequencies is easy on the wallet.

Here’s how I use Solfeggio frequencies in everyday situations:

• Managing Stress (396 Hz):

When I’m juggling a tight deadline or handling a challenging client, this tone helps me find my center.

• Navigating Life Changes (417 Hz):

Whenever I’m going through a big change, like moving to a new place or launching a new course, this frequency helps clear away negative energy and makes the transition smoother.

• Restoring Emotional Balance (528 Hz):

After a hectic day, I listen to this tone to unwind and help me feel more relaxed.

• Improving Communication (639 Hz):

Whenever I'm about to edit copy or have a challenging conversation, this helps me communicate more clearly and meaningfully.

• Detoxing Mind and Body (741 Hz):

When I feel mentally or physically bogged down, this tone helps clear out negativity and brings a sense of renewal.

• Deepening Insight (852 Hz):

Whenever I'm doing long-term planning or trying to make tough decisions, I have this playing in the background.

These tones are super accessible, you don’t have to look far to find them:

• YouTube: Search for “Solfeggio Frequencies” or specific tones like “528 Hz"

• Apps: Try Insight Timer, BetterSleep, or Calm

• Sound Baths & Tuning Forks: For a more immersive experience

If you're just getting started, here are a few tips:

1/ Start small: 5 - 10 minutes, see how they affect you.

2/ Track your feelings: On a scale from 1-5, rate how you feel before and after.

3/ Combine with Other Techniques: Experiment with a warm bath or deep breathing.

I love sharing these tips because, with everything going on in the world, staying centered is crucial.

Next month, I’m hosting a workshop to help you navigate these times with groundedness and calm.

If you want to join, reply here or DM me, and I’ll add you to the waitlist!

Helpful? ♻️ to help your network stay grounded. Follow Tiffany May Yan Chan for more insights.

Ever Have An Orgasm with your clothes on?

I have, but it’s not what you think.

A few years ago, I was at a leadership retreat navigating a high ropes course. During one of the exercises, a fellow participant placed their hand on my knee. 

In an instant, I felt a powerful surge shoot up from the base of my spine, coursing through my body, and out the top of my head. I could "see" our energies spiraling together like a moving double helix - it felt like an intense, full-body orgasm.

I was confused, exhilarated, and terrified all at once.

On one level, I *knew* this energy was the true essence of who I was. But on another, my mind was racing - Was this bad? Wrong? Had I done something to invoke this? What the hell just happened? 

I didn’t know it at the time, but I was having a profound spiritual experience - A Kundalini awakening.

"Kundalini" is a Sanskrit word that means "coil”. 

It’s a primal energy that lies dormant at the base of the spine, much like a tightly wound spring. When this energy awakens, it travels through the chakras - our body’s energy centers - eventually reaching the crown of the head. 

There are many ways to activate Kudalini. But when it does awaken, it can feel as intense as a volcano suddenly coming to life, and can often bring about:

• Deep self-realization

• Heightened awareness

• Increased creativity and intuition

For me, it was the gateway to a profound spiritual awakening. 

Suddenly, the world shifted from gray to vibrant technicolor. Sounds became richer and more textured, and I could sense the emotions of strangers passing by. As someone who prefers things to be neatly explained, this opening was both exhilarating and, admittedly, overwhelming.

If you're going through something similar, I want you to know you're not alone. 

Here’s what I wish someone had told me:

1. Don’t Judge the Experience: It’s natural to feel confused or scared. I remember thinking, Is something wrong with me? Try not to label it. Instead, approach what’s happening with curiosity and openness. It’s okay not to have all the answers right now.

2. Embrace Your Energetic Nature: We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Intense moments like these remind us of our true nature. Start paying attention to the energy around you.

3. Take Care of Body: Your body is acclimating to a new frequency, it’s important to take care of it. Make sure to exercise, stretch, and stay hydrated - this will keep the energy moving. It’s normal to feel high one moment and drained the next. Rest when you’re tired—this won’t last forever.

4. Ground Yourself: At times, it may feel like you’re a frayed wire. Grounding can bring you back to center. Try lying on the ground or walking barefoot to reconnect with the earth. Visualize yourself connecting to the earth’s core, or listen to the Schumann Resonance.

5. Let Emotions Flow: Awakenings can stir up intense emotions. Breathe through whatever comes up—cry if you need to, scream if you must. Emotions are just energy, let yourself fully feel these emotions and they will pass. 

6. Be Discerning With Whom You Share: These experiences are deeply personal and can feel vulnerable to share. Trust your instincts about who to confide in, and remember that you don’t have to share everything. Sometimes, keeping the experience close to your heart can help you process it more fully.

I’m sharing my journey because many people are going through similar awakenings and might not know where to turn. If this is you: remember that you’re not crazy, you’re not alone.

**Course Launch**

This fall, I’ll be launching a course designed to help you understand and navigate these experiences, offering context, healing, and community support.

If you’d like to join the waitlist and receive updates as the course takes shape, just hit reply and let me know.

I’d be honored to support you on this journey.

4 Steps To Confronting Anxiety

Lately, I’ve been noticing how anxiety has been sneaking into my life.

This framework from Harvard Professor Arthur Brooks has helped shift my perspective:

Anxiety is just unfocused fear.

Fear is our mind’s way of protecting us. But when fear lacks a clear target, it can turn into anxiety, making everything around us seem threatening, even when it’s not.

Arthur Brooks offers a practical 4-step approach:

1/ Make a list of ten things that are freaking you out.

2/ Write down why it's causing you stress.

3/ Consider the worst-case scenario.

4/ Decide on one action you can take to address each concern.

This practice is incredibly effective.

Why?

Instead of being overwhelmed by emotions, you shift your focus to your prefrontal cortex, where you can see things more clearly.

But there’s more to it than just managing anxiety.

This framework supports our spiritual growth.

By examining our fears, we transition from reacting to our emotions to observing them. This helps us to shed old habits, making space for deeper truths to emerge.

When we're not in reaction, we can connect with our Higher Self - the part of us that is eternal and fearless. We start to make choices that reflect our true values rather than external pressures. With this alignment, we move through life with greater peace and connection.

This is the spiritual journey.

Contrary to popular belief - spiritual growth isn’t just meditating on a mountaintop.

It’s about using our everyday experiences, including our fears, as opportunities for greater awareness and growth. Each step brings us closer to living with peace, purpose, and unity with the world around us.

This is the kind of work I do with my clients - using practical frameworks to help align with your Higher Self. If you’re interested in learning more, DM me to see if we’re a good fit.

The Four Stages of Consciousness

Ever feel like life’s just happening to you? 

Or maybe you’re starting to see glimpses of something more - like a deeper flow to life?

That’s where the four stages of consciousness come in, a framework introduced by Michael Beckwith that maps out our evolving relationship with life.

The Four Stages of Consciousness

1/ Victim Consciousness - “Life Happens To Me”

We’ve all been there - feeling like life is out to get us, stuck in a cycle of frustration, and powerlessness. It’s that place where nothing seems to go right, and we’re constantly reacting to what life throws at us.

2/ Manifestor Consciousness - “Life Happens By Me”

This is when we realize, “Hey, I can actually make things happen!” We start setting goals, taking action, and shaping our reality. It’s empowering, but it’s also where the hustle can get intense.

3/ Channel Consciousness - “Life Happens Through Me”

Here’s where things get interesting. You start to notice that when you let go a little, life seems to flow better. Instead of forcing things, you start working *with* the Universe.

4/ Being Consciousness  - “Life Happens As Me”

This is the sweet spot—where you feel a deep connection with everything around you. Life isn’t just happening through you; it *is* you. It’s where the lines between you and the world blur, and you’re living in flow with everything.

Understanding these stages is powerful, but it’s important to approach this with humility. Just because you’re aware of these stages doesn’t mean you’re more evolved or enlightened. The truth is, we all move through these phases sometimes multiple times a day.

This awareness helps us foster greater compassion - for yourself and for others. Recognizing where you are and where others might be on their journey helps us all grow together.

Now that you’re familiar with the stages, here are some practical steps to help you navigate them, wherever you find yourself:

1/ Victim Consciousness:  

Start Noticing Your Reactions: When you catch yourself blaming someone else or feeling like a victim, pause. Ask, “What’s one small thing I can do to change this situation?” It’s all about shifting from reaction to response.

2/ Manifestor Consciousness:  

Set Clear Intentions: Begin your day by setting one clear, positive intention. Then, take action. Remember, small consistent steps add up.

3/ Channel Consciousness:

Practice Letting Go: Next time you’re feeling stuck, instead of pushing harder, ask yourself, “How can I align with what’s naturally unfolding here?” Trust the process and see what happens.

4/ Being Consciousness:  

The most powerful way to share Being Consciousness is to live it. When you embody peace, presence, and compassion, others will notice and feel it.

Spiritual evolution isn’t about reaching some final destination.

It’s about flowing through the different phases of the journey, knowing that we’re all in this together. So, whether you’re just starting out or you’re deep into the flow, remember to keep your heart open, your mind curious, and your spirit humble. 

We’re all learning, evolving, and contributing to the bigger picture, one step at a time.

I’d love to hear from you, which of these phases speaks to you the most?

You Took the Leap, Trusted Your Gut - Now What?

Have you ever made a decision so bold it felt like you were stepping off a cliff?

That was me.

I left behind my international career - a career I had trained for, invested years into, and meticulously built - to pursue a path in spirituality. I believed that by aligning with my True Self, I would effortlessly step into something bigger and better.

But the landing wasn’t as soft as I had hoped.

I was eager for a sign - something that would clearly affirm, “Yes, you’re on the right path.”

Instead, life seemed to present one challenge after another:

• Financial uncertainty that kept me awake at night.

• Constantly moving, never finding a place to call home.

• Two bouts of COVID, landing me in the emergency room.

• Friends slipping away, unable to understand my new direction.

In those moments, it felt like I had made a colossal mistake.

And I found myself slipping into familiar patterns:

• Playing the victim - blaming Spirit for leading me astray.

• Longing for the past - yearning for the comfort of what was familiar.

• Drowning in disillusionment - questioning whether I had made the right choice.

But here’s what I discovered:

Spirit isn’t concerned with quick wins. It’s focused on something much deeper—guiding your soul’s evolution, shaping who you’re becoming, and teaching you the lessons you’re meant to learn.

Before I could fully embrace my true calling, I needed to build the capacity to handle it. There are no shortcuts - this journey must be lived firsthand. Just as you no longer fear fire once you’ve walked through it, I had to learn to navigate paradoxes, endure uncertainty, and trust in the face of fear.

Only by transcending my own darkness could I truly guide others through theirs. Initially, I thought these challenges meant I was off course. In reality, they were the exact experiences I needed to grow and realize my highest potential.

To navigate this messy middle, I learned to:

1. Stop Comparing. It’s easy to think others have it all figured out, but we rarely know their full story. Their journey is theirs, and that’s okay.

2. Let Go of Entitlement. I felt I deserved something for taking the leap, but Spirit operates on a relational, not transactional, basis.

3. Celebrate Wins. I used to focus solely on the end goal, missing the significance of small steps forward. Now, I honor every bit of progress.

If this resonates with you, here are a few practical steps:

• Reflect on Your Path: What unexpected lessons have you learned? How have these challenges shaped you?

• Document Your Progress: Keep a journal of your victories and insights. Celebrating these moments can boost your motivation and perspective.

• Connect with Others: It’s easy to feel impatient when we feel like we’re journeying alone. Join communities where you can share experiences and gain encouragement.

Your journey might not unfold as you expected, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t unfolding perfectly. 

Trust the process, honor your growth, and keep moving forward.

Take a moment today: What can you celebrate about your journey so far?

Hit reply and let me know.