Want more energy and focus? 3 ways to reduce friction (so you tolerate less, and accomplish more)
Stop tolerating. Start living.
We put up with way too much nonsense in our lives.
We unnecessarily endure, even when we’re deeply discontent.
Tolerations can look like:
The funder’s compliment that was really a micro aggression
The partner who isn’t present and attentive to your needs
The colleague that asks for favors but rarely reciprocates
We tolerate because:
It’s faster to do it myself
It’s easier to put up with it
I don’t want to make a big deal
While these short cuts can offer temporary ease, efficiency, and social lubrication, there’s a hidden cost to their use.
Our tolerances cost us our Energy.
We think:
I just need to get this done
It’s not that bad
They didn’t really mean it
Here’s what we don’t realize:
We avoid the inevitable.
We tolerate, as a tactic to delay courageous action. We tolerate crappy behavior, because we’re avoiding awkward conversations. We tolerate toxic partnerships, because we’re afraid to be single.
Toleration is a subpar tactic, not a long term strategy.
2. We compromise our integrity.
When we unnecessarily tolerate, we compromise our core values and erode our respect for self. When we dishonor ourselves, we fall out of alignment with our integrity.
Personal integrity - how we align our mind, body, spirit - is integral to achieving powerful impact in the world. When we are personally compromised, we invariably lose sight of our North Star, ultimately compromising our projects, teams, and organizations.
3. Tolerations leak and disburse our energy
The act of creation requires intense concentration. As an entrepreneurial leader, you are literally using your life force to focus energetic particles into matter, birthing the invisible into the visible.
When you tolerate, you disburse your energy; putting a lamp shade over your personal laser beam.
If you want more energy, efficiency and focus, here’s what you can do about it:
Toleration brain dump
Create a list of everything you are tolerating. Include everything.
Your neighbor’s barking dog
The plug that works 65% of the time
Unsatisfactory sex
By listing your tolerations you can begin to see the quantity and range of what’s stealing your energy. This act is cathartic and gives you an opportunity to assess with perspective and objectivity.
2. Pick three items to action.
Focus is key here. By narrowing focus, you begin to reclaim your energy with real traction.
3. Ask yourself, “By tolerating X, how has this served me?”
Time to get real, you’ve tolerated for a reason.
Are you afraid of being alone?
Are you afraid it will cost you funding?
Are you worried about your reputation?
Oftentimes, we avoid uncomfortable situations, because we want to protect ourselves.
By understanding the root of behavior, we can attend to our emotions with compassion and care. The point is not to grit our teeth and muscle through; rather, to offer tenderness to the parts of ourselves that are afraid, while stepping forward with open hearted courage.
4. Ask yourself, “What do I really want?”
This is key. By being honest with our desires, we begin to manifest what we want in the world. This is how our intentions come into reality.
5. Commit to one small but powerful action.
Change takes time. Some annoyances can be solved with a swift click of a button. Other tolerations might take a while. That’s ok.
Start with small but mighty actions. Focus on things that require minimal effort but have a high pay off. Don’t be afraid to delegate or call in help. You’re not here to do it alone.
Unsatisfactory sex? Hire an intimacy coach.
Poor sleep? No phones in the bedroom.
The point is to start small and begin. From here you can begin to shift the energetic momentum, ultimately creating a generative flywheel that uplifts and restores you.
Our tolerations are actually signs inviting us to pause and reevaluate how we’re allocating our energy. When we listen with awareness, we invite greater ease, flow, and alignment into our lives.
