3 Lessons for transcending pain
Pain invites us to transform.
Your discomfort is a signal for growth. As humans, we are here to stretch, learn, and evolve. Pain is the impetus moving us towards our highest expression. When we understand pain and its role in our lives, we can begin to gain deep wisdom that moves towards our highest purpose.
Pain is our great teacher.
How do I know?
In 2015, I was involved in a traumatic car accident.
I was in Johannesburg, walking across a major intersection, when a car lost control and flew towards me. I wasn’t physically hurt, but the incident was terrifying and rocked my sense of safety. I was suddenly afraid of the world. Within weeks, I left my job, ended a relationship, and repatriated to the States.
I felt shattered.
For months, I oscillated between avoidance and victimhood. I ghosted my friends, spiraled into shame, and watched way too many reruns. I thought my life was over; but truly, it had just begun.
Here’s what I’ve learned about pain:
Pain is clarifying
Pain awakens our senses and shakes us from our stupor. With this fresh perspective, we can look at our lives with honest, naked clarity and make an authentic decision on who we want to be and how we want to show up.
Pre-accident, my life was pretty good. But if I’m honest, I was really bored. I wasn’t serving with passion, and while no one could tell the difference, I felt out of integrity with myself. The accident forced me to look at my core values, what I really enjoyed in life, and it opened a door to a new career more aligned with my natural gifts.
Pain asks us, “What do you want? What do you really want?
This simple question comes to us all. And you get to choose what routines, beliefs, and behaviors serve who you truly are and where you want to go.
2. Pain accelerates spiritual transformation.
With pain, there is no facade.
Pain is blunt, straight forward, and unabashed. Any artificial parts of who we are, naturally drop away. This massive release of false ego can feel incredibly vulnerable, especially when we don’t know who we’re yet to become. But it is exactly this falling away that supercharges us toward our divine identity.
After my accident, I was broken. I had overidentified with titles, affiliations, and relationships; thinking my worthiness was contingent upon my business card. By releasing false notions of who I wasn’t, I could finally come home to who I truly was: an eternal spiritual being.
As Rumi offers, “The wound is where the light enters”.
3. Your deepest wound can be your greatest gift.
Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.
When we transform pain, we can transcend our experience to serve others in our world.
From my personal story, I am deeply familiar with anxiety and trauma. But it is from my pain that I can offer my gift to the world. I've noticed that as I've sat with my wound, I have increased capacity to be with others in very dark places. I no longer fear Fear, in myself or in others.
Let me be clear, my work is not done. I have yet to explore deep crevices in my being. And yet, it is from the wisdom of pain that I am able to hold space for others in loving, compassionate, neutrality.
This is my hope for you: for your trauma to be your healing.
